I can't take it

I just can't. My inside are screaming for freedom. I hate being lied to and stepped all over. I hate being used and tookin advantage of. But what do I do to get away from it all? I wish there was someone, someone I could spill all my shit on and they would care and try and help. I just need a good friend. Someone I trust and would be truthful and honest with me. Some one that would love me for me and not some of the time. ==( i need to do something different. Big time different, I need to distance myself from what hurts me and brings me down. I need to distance myself...that's the key to keeping myself sane i think. what the fuck esther? why am i so troubled? why? why? why? Why do I always go back? Back to the very thing that makes tomorrow look like my enemy?